Its strange somehow how things work out, I finally did the right thing and told the girls that their Dad didn't want to see them, something I'd been putting off for a while, so as not to hurt them even more. And instead it was a positive thing. I feel like a chapter in their lives and mine is now closed and we can move forward.
It doesn't take away the pain and hurt that they are feeling as well as the rejection, but at least it is all in the open and there is no deception now.
I finally feel like I am free of the black shadow that had been hanging over my life called Fred.
I guess its like finally starting to trust God, and giving up things to him, only to have more freedom than you had before.
....
There is something truly nice about coming home from an evening out to someone you love. Even if they aren't in a good place at the moment or they have had a crap day and you need to support them when you get in, its still nice to come in and have a hug and a kiss and feel the warmth of someone caring that you are home again.
Not that I would have wished the situation that has arisen to have done so, but the upshot and the benefit of it is that Robin is here tonight and for a bit, and I got to go out and come home to him tonight. Lovely.
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